first, sam falls in love with concept of castiel. an angelic power that’s so perfect and pure and so the opposite of himself that it gives him hope and strengthens his faith. but he knows he can’t come too close or touch too long for fear that his own sin-stained soul will leak out and taint that inherent good wrapped up in a dirty trench coat.
next, sam falls in love with the idea of redemption through castiel. that the touches and the gazes and the words carry with them fractions of his grace and that they purify him. he wants to be purified so badly. he wants to wipe away all of the destruction and the blood and the sin… he doesn’t want to look in the mirror and see a monster or a freak. he wants to be saved.
finally, sam falls in love with the whole of castiel. the purity of his love, the kisses that taste like redemption and grace, and the reassuring words that he is not a monster. every second he’s with castiel is another mile down the road of salvation, towards the light, and away from the demons and the death and the lies. the blood washes from his hands and he’s never felt more pure in his life.
suddenly feel like just. fantastically worthless shit.
aAAHHH THERE WAS A BOARDWALK EMPIRE TRAILER BEFORE GOT
Frank Ocean - Bad Romance (Lady Gaga Cover)
#okay come on though #no wings and that thing CAN’T have killed her#she’s stuck it into so many angel skulls and they’ve all been fine #this is like jamming a pencil into a cpu she’s fried but she can come back #I’M NOT EVEN IN DENIAL I JUST THINK THIS IS LOGIC (via jimmynovaks)